There Will Always Be A Problem (and That's OK)
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
What is the moral of the story? The moral of the story is that if I do not like a part of myself if I work hard to fix it the problem will go away. I have notice that people use many different things to wish the negative parts of themselves away. People will use religion to pray the negative part of themselves away for example on the 7th step in the 12 steps of AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) is humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings. When people are struggling with addiction or with behaviors that are problems it is common for them to feel defeated when they think about relapsing into their old behaviors or addictions. You know you what there will always be a problem. It seems that people cannot accept the concept that the problem with our behaviors on our characters never really go away; they just become properly managed.
What do you mean they just become properly managed? Going back to addiction as a topic what do the recovery communities talk about with maintaining sobriety? Well in the recovery communities they talked about staying connected, keep going to meeting, keep going to therapy, and keep talking about your day in and day out struggles. Why would they do that if a person is sober and fix that part of their lives? Because they know that if you do not manage the problem it will become a big fat problem for you again. If you are having problem with self-esteem; maybe you are overweight, or whatever physical attribute you not like about yourself. You get that “fix”; you are no longer overweight, you got a nose job whatever it’s “fix”. Going with the weight lose example do you stop looking in the mirror and stop wondering “am I enough”? I would assume that you would still look in the mirror and keep asking yourself “am I enough”? I would also assume you are going to keep saying to yourself “you are enough”.
Whatever you really struggle with in your life is going to be a life long struggle and that’s ok. It is ok to have lifelong struggles as long as you keep working on it and not let it ruin your life. If you are sober from having an addiction and you keep reaching out when you are feeling trigger to use that a really good it. It’s not a curse that you’re getting trigger; you are always going to get trigger by thing. You should be giving yourself a pat on the back because you are reaching out instead of using. If you having a self-esteem issue and you have to keep checking in with yourself and keep saying “you are enough”, or keep checking in with your therapist. You are doing the hard work and not running to a relationship for validation. When you keep managing a problem is keeps the problem small and less of a threat to your life. When you ignore you problems, you are not managing it, and then your problem will get worst and mess up your life. I understand it stuck to know that I, you, whoever will never be that perfect person. However I’m happy knowing I get keep my problems small and live my best life.