The Power in Being the Victim
How many times have you been in a conversation with someone and they were talking about some scenario where they didn’t have a choice but to do something? How many times have you thought to yourself that you did not have a choice but to do an action you did not want to do? The problem with this type of thinking is that you do not realize the choices you have, and the choices you are making. We make a lot of choices during the day and a lot of these choices we are not conscious of. Some of these mundane choices are what to eat for breakfast, what kind of clothes to wear, and which route to take to work. So why do people want to keep saying they didn’t have a choice? The reason is they like being the victim. When you’re the victim and you did not have a choice and you cannot be held accountable your choices.
Now how is that possible? How is it possible that a person do not have a choice? There is a problem with how people relate to the word choice. People truly believe they have no choice in certain situations. I would argue and many other professionals would argue that there is always a choice. Whether the choice is to give your money to a robber or get shot. Or the choice can be working overtime or you will not have enough to pay your bills. In these situations you have a choice they are just not as pleasant choices. That is the main problem with people and their freedom of choice. People truly believe that if the choice is not a pleasant one than there is not a choice. Just because you are choosing between the lesser of two evils in your mind does not mean you did not make a choice.
People love when they have pleasant choices. They love when they have a choice between the red car, and the blue one; or you want to make 10 dollars more an hour or lose 15 dollars an hour. People love to take accountability when they are making “good” or pleasant choices however, people do not like to be held accountable for their actions when they get themselves in a blind and have to make hard or “bad” choices. When you take accountability for your actions means you have to own up to your mistakes. People have a very big misunderstanding of that when we are adults we do not make mistakes. People are embarrassed to admit that they make mistakes and often to not want to try to make amends for their mistakes.
This is the reason why people often deny their choices in bad situations. If you have to admit that your choices lead to a bad situation, or make the situation worse, then you are responsible for making the situation better. So a lot of people pick being the victim. It’s easier to be the victim. It’s easier to point to someone or something and saying that’s why there is a problem because than you’re not responsible for making it better. The minute you start pointing to yourself and saying that you made a bad choice and you’re responsible for the mess of a situation, then you are responsible for cleaning it up. The choices you are going to have to make to get yourself out of a bad situation most likely will not be the choices you want to make. Long story short people really love to dig themselves in a hole and hate digging themselves out of it.