Being a therapist, I tend to talk to many different people for array of things. Not everything I do has to do with my job however I can see pattern here and there. Here is something I had been noticing for a long time, and not just the clients I see every week. Socially we really are used to being in toxic situations and we do not link the toxic situation to our mental (or physical) health. There are several reasons for this.
1. We do what we know. If I grew up in a toxic environment. That is what I’m comfortable being in. Therefore, I will make every environment I am in toxic even if I do not to it directly. I could just keep toxic people around me.
2. We may think “I can’t do any better than what I’m doing right now”. Even if that’s not true we will make it true. We will self-sabotaging relationship, jobs, and good opportunities. To keep us in a toxic situation.
3. We are afraid of the unknown. We know toxic. The last nights. The unhealthy people. The stress. The headaches. We know how to handle that. What we do not know how to handle is the peace of not dealing with any of that. The thought of not having anyone or anything that constantly stressing use out. This both excites and frightens us.
The thing I would like people to get used to is the anxiety of being calm. The anxiety of not having that toxic person our lives. The feeling of guilt that only comes when you put yourself first. You can be a good person and not be there for every person. You can be a good person and not give someone your last. You can be a good person and break up with the person who not treating you right because “they are growing”. You learn not to self-sabotage your progress in life. At the moment you make be used to being toxic, in toxic, or around toxic people. However you can also get used to being a peace loving environment too.